You ask me the question who am I?
Well I guess I should start with my name.
But my name is in essence just a series of letters,
Surely that won’t be met with acclaim.
So what does my name represent?
What is it that makes up my being?
When I live each moment of this life I am given,
What is it that people are seeing?
I guess firstly they see my outside:
My height, my size, my hairstyle,
The colour of my eyes and the tone of my skin,
And the whiteness of my smile.
But soon after that initial impression,
My soul will start to shine through.
The things I do and the words I speak
Will start to define that ‘who’.
So the real question is what’s in my soul,
What are the parameters of ‘me’?
And can who I am be labelled that way,
Or is it supposed to be free?
Free from description and definition and such,
Free from analytical ID.
Free to pursue my goals and my dreams
Without needing to ask, ‘Is that me?’
Or is that an excuse? To hide away,
And to pretend we don’t need to ask?
Is discovering ourselves and who we are
Really our greatest task?
The truth is I know I can be labelled
Christian, analytical, deep.
I know I’m that stuff, but is that enough?
Because it actually all just feels cheap.
I guess what the question really asks,
Is if I am doing alright.
Am I the good Christian girl I ought to be?
Am I doing enough with this life?
I know we’re all made different,
I know we are each unique
But there are still expectations that have to be met,
And I don’t want to be seen to be weak.
I want to be significant
To have my own part to play
To know that I am worthy of doing my bit
To be recognised and to have my say.
Yet all this is rubbish really
Because its once again focussed on self.
Not that it doesn’t matter to God,
But our significance should not be our wealth.
If we choose to be Gods people,
Not striving to be a ‘star’.
‘Who am I’ is replaced with loving God more,
Trusting Him to shape who we are.