Sunday, July 05, 2009

Hope & Hopelessness

He is on the periphory
Always on the lookoutfor a way in
Looking for something to pick on
Something he can cling on to
And when he doesIts like he is glued there
He cannot be shaken off
And when finally his rival creeps in
She somehow loosens his grip
And pushes him back to the periphory
But her grip is not quite so strong
Wearied by the battle
Tossed and turned
And easily dragged away
And he latches on to the gap she has left
And he holds on and holds on
And its a long time before we see her again
She finds it hard to get back
She is afraid of falling off again
And every time she falls
Its a little harder to come back
And I miss her
And I hate him
Her name: Hope
His name: Hoplessness

My Other Self

I'm watching myself interact,
Playing the fool,
Making the jokes,
Laughing out loud,
Talking the talk.
I'm seeing the lies I portray,
Knowing the pretense,
Playing the game,
Feeling the hypocrisy,
Watching the show.
I'm hoping I can't be seen,
The real me,
The fear I have,
The sadness I know,
The battle I contend with,
The scars I hide,
The pain I feel,
The truth I can't tell.

Feeling Good

The sound of laughter,
The squeeze of a shoulder,
The wisdom of an elder,
That's what makes me feel good.

A friend my my side,
A wink from a guy,
A hug from behind,
That's what makes me feel good.

Holding a hand,
A gift from a friend,
A kiss on the head,
That's what makes me feel good.


The whole of life is completely meaningless.
Going about our business,
Trying to somehow feel that we are significant,
Trying to leave our mark.
To stand and be counted,
To say 'I was here'.
But really, its all just meaningless.

Who really notices what I do anyway?
And who really cares except me?
I delude myself into thinking I can make a difference,
I can be significant.
Really all I am trying to do is shout out to the world,
To say there is purpose in my existence.
But the only purpose in that is to satisfy my own needs.
To make myself feel worth something.

Its all really just meaningless.
A chasing after the wind.
A search for significance in a place that will forget us so quickly,
When we are gone.
What is the point in living?
I don't see the need to be here!
I know people would be sad for me if I am gone,
But except to spare them that pain,
There is no other reason to stick around.

Except that God has created me,
So he must want me here.
I don't understand why!
Is he really so loving?
If He were, would He have put us here?
I am glad He made me so I can know Him,
But I don't see the point in this world.
Bring on the next.

Is the whole of life just meaningless?
I really can't make a difference to the next.
And what is the point in spiritual growth
In being put through trials and tests to strengthen our faith,
If we are going to be perfect in heaven?
Isn't it all just meaningless?
A chasing after the wind?

Change My Heart

Lord you know me as I am
You know my sin and shame
And yet you know I want to be holy
Spirit of God, change my heart.

You know Lord that I am proud
And that I seek recognition
And yet you know I want to be humble
Spirit of God change my heart.

Father GOd, you know I am defensive
You know I like to be 'right'
And yet you know my deepest insecurities.
Spirit of God, change my heart.

You Oh God are aware of my desires
And the materialism I seek after
And yet you know I want you to be first in my life
Spirit of God, change my heart.

Lord you know my routine sucks
You know I give you too little time
And yet you know I want to develop a deep, loving relationship with you
Spirit of God, change my heart.

Lord you made me, You know me intimately,
You know my thoughts and see my heart
You know my shortcomings and my desires
Spirit of God, change my heart.

The Tunnel

The air thickens
The noise increases
The light begins to hurt my eyes
And all ahead I see the walls
Getting narrower and narrower
They seem to never end
Closing in on me
Keeping me prisoner
No escape, nowhere to run
There are no hiding places here
No crevices to curl up in
I can't hide
I can't escape
I am on public display
But alone in this bright
Far too bright

It's Yours

Father God, here I am,
I kneel before you with open hands,
Here to receive, here to give,
Here to offer this life I live.

Father God, I humbly bow,
I'm ready to give it all up now,
It's yours to take, Yours to heal,
Yours to change, no conditions, no deals.

Father God, I give you the praise,
You've brought me through this disobedient phase,
All the honour, all the glory,
All thanks is yours, this is my story.

Father God, whatever you ask,
Whatever you want will become my task,
No one excuse, not one complaint,
Whatever it takes to become your saint.