Poems

Hope & Hopelessness

2009-07-05T23:09:00.001Z

He is on the periphory

Always on the lookoutfor a way in

Looking for something to pick on

Something he can cling on to

And when he doesIts like he is glued there

He cannot be shaken off

And when finally his rival creeps in

She somehow loosens his grip

And pushes him back to the periphory

But her grip is not quite so strong

Wearied by the battle

Tossed and turned

And easily dragged away

And he latches on to the gap she has left

And he holds on and holds on

And its a long time before we see her again

She finds it hard to get back

She is afraid of falling off again

And every time she falls

Its a little harder to come back

And I miss her

And I hate him

Her name: Hope

His name: Hoplessness

My Other Self

2009-07-05T23:05:00.002Z

I'm watching myself interact,

Playing the fool,

Making the jokes,

Laughing out loud,

Talking the talk.

I'm seeing the lies I portray,

Knowing the pretense,

Playing the game,

Feeling the hypocrisy,

Watching the show.

I'm hoping I can't be seen,

The real me,

The fear I have,

The sadness I know,

The battle I contend with,

The scars I hide,

The pain I feel,

The truth I can't tell.

Feeling Good

2009-07-05T22:57:00.003Z

The sound of laughter,

The squeeze of a shoulder,

The wisdom of an elder,

That's what makes me feel good.

A friend my my side,

A wink from a guy,

A hug from behind,

That's what makes me feel good.

Holding a hand,

A gift from a friend,

A kiss on the head,

That's what makes me feel good.

Meaningless

2009-07-05T22:55:00.001Z

The whole of life is completely meaningless.
Going about our business,
Trying to somehow feel that we are significant,
Trying to leave our mark.
To stand and be counted,
To say 'I was here'.
But really, its all just meaningless.

Who really notices what I do anyway?
And who really cares except me?
I delude myself into thinking I can make a difference,
I can be significant.
Really all I am trying to do is shout out to the world,
To say there is purpose in my existence.
But the only purpose in that is to satisfy my own needs.
To make myself feel worth something.

Its all really just meaningless.
A chasing after the wind.
A search for significance in a place that will forget us so quickly,
When we are gone.
What is the point in living?
I don't see the need to be here!
I know people would be sad for me if I am gone,
But except to spare them that pain,
There is no other reason to stick around.

Except that God has created me,
So he must want me here.
I don't understand why!
Is he really so loving?
If He were, would He have put us here?
I am glad He made me so I can know Him,
But I don't see the point in this world.
Bring on the next.

Is the whole of life just meaningless?
I really can't make a difference to the next.
And what is the point in spiritual growth
In being put through trials and tests to strengthen our faith,
If we are going to be perfect in heaven?
Isn't it all just meaningless?
A chasing after the wind?

Change My Heart

2009-07-05T22:48:00.002Z

Lord you know me as I am

You know my sin and shame

And yet you know I want to be holy

Spirit of God, change my heart.

You know Lord that I am proud

And that I seek recognition

And yet you know I want to be humble

Spirit of God change my heart.

Father GOd, you know I am defensive

You know I like to be 'right'

And yet you know my deepest insecurities.

Spirit of God, change my heart.

You Oh God are aware of my desires

And the materialism I seek after

And yet you know I want you to be first in my life

Spirit of God, change my heart.

Lord you know my routine sucks

You know I give you too little time

And yet you know I want to develop a deep, loving relationship with you

Spirit of God, change my heart.

Lord you made me, You know me intimately,

You know my thoughts and see my heart

You know my shortcomings and my desires

Spirit of God, change my heart.

The Tunnel

2009-07-05T22:43:00.001Z

The air thickens

The noise increases

The light begins to hurt my eyes

And all ahead I see the walls

Getting narrower and narrower

They seem to never end

Closing in on me

Keeping me prisoner

Trapped

No escape, nowhere to run

There are no hiding places here

No crevices to curl up in

I can't hide

I can't escape

I am on public display

But alone in this bright

Far too bright

Tunnel

It's Yours

2009-07-05T22:37:00.002Z

Father God, here I am,

I kneel before you with open hands,

Here to receive, here to give,

Here to offer this life I live.

Father God, I humbly bow,

I'm ready to give it all up now,

It's yours to take, Yours to heal,

Yours to change, no conditions, no deals.

Father God, I give you the praise,

You've brought me through this disobedient phase,

All the honour, all the glory,

All thanks is yours, this is my story.

Father God, whatever you ask,

Whatever you want will become my task,

No one excuse, not one complaint,

Whatever it takes to become your saint.

Quietness

2009-07-05T22:34:00.003Z

Sitting, quietly,

Amidst the bustle of life,

Here I sit quietly,

Waiting for you.

Here I am Lord,

Knowing I deserve nothing of your presence,

Here I am Lord,

Listening for you.

Will you speak Lord,

Without reprimand or hostility?

Speak to me Lord,

In the warmth of love.

I need you Lord,

I know I crave control,

But I need you Lord.

Please touch my heart.

They didn't recognise me.

2009-04-12T00:59:00.004Z

I am told that the trouble started before my second year.
The authorities got scared choosing death to calm their fear.
They killed the young boys to get rid of me but what they didn't see,
Was that my kingship would save their souls. They didn't recognise me.

During my ministry I was popular - a real hit with the crowd.
The parables, the miracles, the cheering could make one proud.
But what bothered me more than anything was what they didn't see,
They didn't know me as Saviour - they didn't recognise me.

The Jews had been waiting long and hard for their long expected king,
And when I arrived, humble and mild they didn't suspect a thing.
They wanted a king who'd make their nation stong, but what they didn't see,
Was that my Kingdom was not of their world - they didn't recognise me.

When finally the leaders jealousy took its hold within their head.
They made their choice to kill me, they desperately wanted me dead.
They thought they were killing a threat to their power but what they didn't see,
Was that I came to set them free - they didn't recognise me.

When my Father raised me to life, my Mary found the tomb,
She saw that it was empty and was immediately filled with gloom,
When I appeared I comforted her, but what she couldn't see,
Was that death had been defeated - she didn't recognise me.

I walked along the Emaues road with two followers of mine,
They were telling me about my own death and were upset about the crime.
They knew and loved me well enough, but what they couldn't see,
Was the power I hold over death - they didn't recognise me.

And then I met poor Thomas - well meaning but in distress,
I told him I had been raised to life - that I had defeated death,
He looked at me and wanted to believe but what he couldn't see,
Was that faith without sight is truly blessed - he didn't recognise me.

Now from my seat in heaven, I look upon the earth,
And still I see so much disbelief - people still doubting their worth.
They are my Fathers Children, but what they don't seem to see,
Is that I came to save them - they refuse to recognise me.

And what about today - right here - right now, as I speak.
Are you one of those doubters? Are you afraid of appearing weak?
I ask you now to give me a chance - please don't fail to see,
That I love you my child, my precious child - will you choose to recognise me?

Good Friday

2009-04-10T00:45:00.003Z

Its a dark cold night Father,
Up here on this hill.
It's lonely and cold, Father
And this pain so very real.

Where have all my friends gone Father?
Why do they leave me alone?
It hurts me so much Father.
Why should this be condoned?

I'm innocent Father, innocent.
But they look at me with so much hate,
I want to make them see me Father
Before its simply too late.

Their words are crushing me Father
They jeer and scorn and spit.
They're laughing at me Father
Laughing at their apparent wit.

Do I have to bear this Father?
I am tired, and at the end
I can't hold this cross much longer
WHy haven't the angels been sent?

WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME FATHER?
Where are those footprints now?
You've left me alone here Father.
But to your will I will bow.

Oh Father my heart is breaking
rejection, betrayal, denial
How would they like it Father
If they were put through this trial?

And yet I look into their eyes Father,
And I see who you made them to be,
And I'm sad for them Father, and I love them
And I remember this day is not about me.

Its about them Father, the people you love
Its about setting them free.
I look in their eyes through the jerring and laughter
And I love them and pray they may see.

Forgive them Father, Forgive them,
For they know not what they do.
They won't understand your eternal plan
Until I've seen this through.

I give you myself, My Father
This day, This moment, this hour
My spirit is yours, Death will no longer win
You'll defat it Father, through your power.

And with this final breath Father,
I cry out with all that is left
I suck in my breath, give an almighty cry
IT IS FINISHED FATHER - IT IS FINISHED

Candle

2008-12-20T23:23:00.000Z

She blew out the candle and made herself boss
She removed the light and I'm feeling the loss
She messed up the image, turned it to moss
Now all is darkness

The candle smoulders, has hope returned?
It flickers a while, my stomach churns
But the flicker dies out and hope is spurned
Now all is darkness again.

Tired

2008-12-03T23:18:00.001Z

These last few days Lord have been so hard.
I'm in a pit and my heart is scarred.
My mind's in chaos, my life's a mess,
There's stuff inside that I just can't express.

I don't know what to do Lord, what to say.
How has my life turned out this way?
What's left to do Lord? Where do I turn?
I think of you and my stomach starts to churn.

I'm all out of hope Lord, there's nothing left.
I'm all out of fight. I'm tired and bereft.
I need you right now Lord to help me to stand,
And to let me stay here Lord, in the palm of your hand.

Doubt

2008-04-18T22:39:00.001Z

I believe in you God, I think.
I don't understand,
The world seems unplanned,
But I trust in you God, I think.

I want to believe in you God.
I'm hurting and scared,
In chains and ensnared,
But I want to trust in you God.

I need to know this is real.
Not just emotion and hype
Not made up tripe,
Jesus, can I trust its all real?

I still love you Father, I do.
But where are you Lord?
The God I adored?
I want to still love You, I do.

Heartbeat of Love

2007-12-09T22:08:00.000Z

A tender smile, a warm embrace,
A look of joy upon a face,
A motionless dance at a gentle pace,
All in the heartbeat of love.

A hurting neighbour, a strangers hand,
A fallen woman, helped to stand,
A welcome greeting in a foreign land,
All in the heartbeat of love.

A homeless girl given a chance,
A forgotten mother - a second glance.
A lonely widow asked to dance,
All in the heartbeat of love.

A hopeless nation, a God above,
A repentant sinner, a Saviours love,
A fearful follower, a peaceful dove,
All in His heartbeat of love.

The Desert Place

2007-12-09T21:50:00.001Z

The sand crunches beneath my feet as I walk,
Painfully pressing into my skin.
Burning fire with every step I take,
And as I walk, the light gets dim.

The darkness only exemplifies the loneliness,
And opens my mind up to fears.
My dry, parched throat cries out for water,
And my eyes cry moistureless tears.

In the darkness I spot a glistening,
Wide eyed, I take in the scene.
A gushing spring, fruit trees and grass,
The most beautiful sight I have seen.

In that moment I think I'll be alright,
That already I'm on the mend.
But walking to it I find its an illusion,
Will this desert place have any end?

What is this rain we should rejoice in?
Is it God, cuddling His daughter?
I want to rejoice in the rain, getting soaked,
But I cannot find any water.

The Word of God

2007-12-09T21:44:00.000Z

I lie here broken and hurting,
Crying out and wanting to scream,
Battered and bruised, guilty and frightened,
Hoping its all been a dream.

I cry out to God in frustration,
I lay it all, open and bare.
The fear and the pain, feelings and failings,
Sent up to God in a prayer.

Then drawn to the word of the Lord,
I find it in black and white.
The words of the psalms expressing my heart,
Filling my darkness with light.

I still feel the pain and the sorrow,
I still find it hard to cope,
But God is good, faithful and true.
His word gives me comfort and hope.

Who are You Lord?

2007-12-09T21:24:00.000Z

I watch you from a distance,
Sitting there, eyes closed,
Mouthing words but not making a sound.
I look at you sitting there,
And I ponder as I watch,
Who are you speaking to?
WHat are you saying?
Are you trying to picture the object of your attention?
Are you thinking about the words,
Or Him to whom you are praying?
Can you actually hear Him?
Can you actually feel Him?
How do you know He is there?
Do you truly know Him?
Do you truly know Him?
Who is it you speak to?

I sit in my room quietly,
Stopping for a brief moment in time,
Letting my mind go quiet,
My thoughts be still,
And I fix my attention...but on what?
On whom?
I start to speak some words,
Making requests, giving praise,
But who am I speaking to?
Who is my attention fixed on?
Do I truly know Him?
Do I truly feel Him?
How can I pray to one whom I do not know?
Whom I do not feel?
Whom I can't picture or imagine?
I most certainly believe in Him,
But do I know Him?

Omniscient father, omnipotent creator,
Omniscient spirit, King of Kings,
Father of all, my faithful Lord,
Saviour, creator, king.
Ruler, high priest, all holy, all loving.
Wonderful counsellor, perfectly just judge,
Mighty redeemer, precious Lord,
Perfect peace giver, everlasting one,
Alpha, omega, beginning and end.
Trustworthy master, gentle shepherd,
Baner, protector, light of the world.
The great I am, the fire, the whisper,
Beatiful Jesus, word of God,
Most worthy of all, master and Lord.
Jehovah M'Kaddesh,
Jehovah Tsidkenu,
Jehovah Nissi,
Jehovah Rohi,
Jehovah Jireh,
Jehova Rophe,
Jehova Shammah,
Jehova Shalom.

Who are you Lord?

Who Are You God?

2007-12-09T21:15:00.000Z

Who are you God, I hear myself ask,
What's your relationship with me?
How so I picture you? How do I pray?
What will help me to see?

I know you are God, awesome and big,
Creator, all powerful King.
I know so much about who You are,
The truths about which we sing.

I have learned a lot through reading your word,
Debating and discussing its meaning,
And whilst that's all good, its just not enough,
Its left me cold and without feeling.

I want you God, I love you God,
I want to be closer to You.
I want to know You deep in my heart.
I want this faith to be true.

My deepest request, my hearts deepest yearning,
Is to know You, to see You, to feel You.
Make yourself real to me God, if You're there,
Make this my experience too.

Show thyself to me, Lord,
Show thyself to me,
Poor unworthy me, yes even me.
Pardon every sin, Lord,
Cleanse me from within, Lord,
Then I from this hour will follow thee.

Stuck

2007-05-27T23:16:00.000Z

Stuck
On the Spot
With a vast expanse around you
But no way to get there

Stuck
In in-activity
When there’s so much to be done
But you don’t know how to start

Stuck
In nothingness
When you want to be involved
But you can’t find your place

Stuck
In time
When you want to move on
But you’re forced to wait

Stuck
In discontented routine
When you feel the responsibility to do something
But everything overwhelms you

Stuck
In loneliness
When loads of friends surround you
But you still feel so alone

Stuck
No escape!
In chains because of your own needs
Your own inadequacies
Your own fears
Because you simply know you don’t have what it takes

Stuck
In desperation
When you are forced
To wait it out

What To Do

2007-05-27T23:15:00.000Z

So what do you do,
When that feeling deep inside of you,
Starts growing? starts building?
That sense of longing,
Of discontent.
That, 'there must be more than this' feeling?

What do you do when it pervades all your thoughts,
Keeping your mind prisoner,
Allowing you to think of nothing but 'it'?
When you need to cry out for 'it'
And yell about 'it',
But you're not sure what 'it' looks like!

What do you do when you're filled with the passion,
But the vision escapes you?
You know the need,
But not the answer,
And you aren't sure you are even up to the challenge.
What do you do?

Nothing But Wait

2007-05-27T23:12:00.000Z

There’s nothing to do but wait
I can’t control this
I don’t own this
Or do I?

Is there more to do than wait?
Do I control this?
Do I own this?
How can I?

Is there more to do than wait
Or nothing to do but wait?
Do you wait for the right conditions
Or do you act knowing the conditions could never be right?

Holy discontent?

2007-04-28T01:04:00.000Z

The speaker rose from his seat
Silently moving centre-stage.
He stood quietly for a few moments
Then looked directly at me
Eyes flashing,
Lips quivering,
And spoke the words I longed him not to say;
'Our God can do more than youcould ever ask or imagine'.

I narrowed my eyes and stared him down.
He never once shifted his gaze.
Then again, he spoke;
'Thus says the Lord;
If you remain in me and my words remain in you
Ask whatever you wish and it will be given you.'

I heard a breath catch.
Startled - I found it was my own.
But I blocked off my ears,
Blocked off my mind,
And shut out my heart.
And with my eyes
I declared war on the speaker.
I would not let him win.
He was not going to defeat me.

And I stared,
But he was not fazed.
He did not look away.
A tear slowly trickled down his cheek,
But he never looked away.
And I wondered if anyone else could see.
If they could sense his relentless gaze on me.
I wondered what they might be thinking.
But I didn't look to see.
I could not, would not, cast my eyes away.

He took a breath.
I caught mine, and tensed,
For he was about to speak again;
'Jesus said, I came to give you life, and life in all its fullness'.

I felt the anger bubbling up inside
And I desperately tried to control it.
But he knew.
And he spoke again quickly.
Much too quickly.
Impassioned, he cried out;
'Let go, let it go.
And join in the dance of the trinity.'
And I snapped.
Geting to my feet, I screamed;
'Shut-up. Just shut-up.'

It felt sureal.
Like I was outside my own body.
Watching myself fall to pieces in front of everyone.

'There's no dance.
There's no fullness of life.
We don't get what we wish for
And God never does anything. I imagine much greater things than this.
It's empty.
It's meaningless.
Just complete and utter disappointment.'

Throwing my Bible down,
I ran.
Out of the door.
Into the car park
And found a corner.
I curled up in a ball and sobbed.

No-one came to see me.
Not at first.
They were all too wise, (or too scared!)
But I was glad of it.
I stayed until everybody had left.
All except one.
The speaker.
He stood behind me for a while.
Just stood.
No sound.
But his presence was a strange comfort.

We stayed like that for ages.
Me - back turned.
Him, just stood.
Calmly,
Peaceably,
Stood.
All was quiet.
All was still.

Then movement.
Very gently, he handed me a tissue,
Put a firm but kind hand on my shoulder,
And whispered,
'Holy discontent is a good thing.
Embrace it.
Bless you my child'.

Then he was gone
AndI was left to contemplate his words.
Holy discontent.
Is that what I have?
Or am I simply,
Discontent?

Waiting

2007-03-01T16:31:00.001Z

I seem to have spent all my life waiting,

preparing for what's in store.

Everything I do is 'in preparation for' something

But I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.

What is it I am trying to achieve,

For what purpose am I storing away,

And why am I working so hard to learn all I can,

Why am I where I am today?

Is where I am where I should be,

Does my life start right now or later?

Am I in place to do 'my thing' for God?

Or is there something far greater?

Should I assume that I am where I am,

Putting my all into living this day?

Or should I keep checking that there's not something else?

Does God's plan show a different way?

Will I ever stop waiting for the next big thing?

Does this method need correcting?

Am I dissatisfied because there is more,

Or because I am used to expecting?

If I choose to ignore the nagging inside

Am I blocking the voice of the Lord?

Or am I teaching myself to live for today

Because its my habit to want more?

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How do they do it?

2007-02-24T14:07:00.000Z

There are many Christian's I know
For whom faith is so simple.
They don't get dragged down by big questions
Or base faith purely on principle.

They can tell a whole congregation
That 'God is in this place'.
Or that if the shoes just don't seem to fit,
Then God will fill up the space.

They can stand there and make the claim
That God will meet every need.
They don't find it hard to say or believe
That we are best following His lead.

Its tempting to think its no deeper than words.
To think they have never questioned
Whether these were beliefs stored in the depths of their hearts
Or if they're just surface deceptions.

But when I watch as they speak
And look at the truth in their eyes.
I have to conclude that they truly believe
And God's love fills the whole of their lives.

That fills me with so much more hope.
Seeing that someones experience is real.
Its through them I can see that God really is here,
And that his arms are outstretched to heal.

I am filled with a deep admiration.
How do they do it I ask?
How do they find such a simple real faith?
Should I make that my task?

Who am I?

2006-12-08T12:10:00.000Z

You ask me the question who am I?
Well I guess I should start with my name.
But my name is in essence just a series of letters,
Surely that won’t be met with acclaim.

So what does my name represent?
What is it that makes up my being?
When I live each moment of this life I am given,
What is it that people are seeing?

I guess firstly they see my outside:
My height, my size, my hairstyle,
The colour of my eyes and the tone of my skin,
And the whiteness of my smile.

But soon after that initial impression,
My soul will start to shine through.
The things I do and the words I speak
Will start to define that ‘who’.

So the real question is what’s in my soul,
What are the parameters of ‘me’?
And can who I am be labelled that way,
Or is it supposed to be free?

Free from description and definition and such,
Free from analytical ID.
Free to pursue my goals and my dreams
Without needing to ask, ‘Is that me?’

Or is that an excuse? To hide away,
And to pretend we don’t need to ask?
Is discovering ourselves and who we are
Really our greatest task?

The truth is I know I can be labelled
Christian, analytical, deep.
I know I’m that stuff, but is that enough?
Because it actually all just feels cheap.

I guess what the question really asks,
Is if I am doing alright.
Am I the good Christian girl I ought to be?
Am I doing enough with this life?

I know we’re all made different,
I know we are each unique
But there are still expectations that have to be met,
And I don’t want to be seen to be weak.

I want to be significant
To have my own part to play
To know that I am worthy of doing my bit
To be recognised and to have my say.

Yet all this is rubbish really
Because its once again focussed on self.
Not that it doesn’t matter to God,
But our significance should not be our wealth.

If we choose to be Gods people,
Not striving to be a ‘star’.
‘Who am I’ is replaced with loving God more,
Trusting Him to shape who we are.

The Names of God

2006-09-12T08:10:00.000Z

My God has a name which cleanses me deep down within.
It sets me apart for holiness having washed away my sin.
I love this name Jehovah M'Kaddesh, The Lord My Sanctifier.
This work can not be done by me it's by the Spirit's fire.

The Lord my God sent Jesus His Son, to be my righteousness,
He chooses to turn my life around when the pieces are in a mess.
The Lord has a name, Jehovah Tsidkenu, which brings a smile upon my face,
It means the Lord, my righteousness; yes this is a work of grace.

The Lord is my protection He employs His watchful eye
To notice when I am being pursued, and when the devil starts to lie.
He fights my cause, and provides for me in all my deepest needs,
Jehovah Nissi – The Lord my banner, He watches over me.

Because the Lord is my Shepherd, I have everything I need.
He knows my heart so intimately, I can trust in Him to lead.
This truth is fulfilled in Jesus Christ, He is Jehovah Rohi.
He teaches and guides and fills me with joy, my Shepherd He'll always be.

God provided for the Israelites but they quickly forgot the blesser.
To Abraham He gave a ram, an advocate in Esther.
The manna never failed to arrive, God proved He’s a faithful provider.
And today He gives us grace through Jesus. Thank you Jehovah Jireh.

My God is a God with power to heal, so why do we still have to suffer?
The stories of Jesus give a glimpse of Heaven. That was His purpose and none other.
We can trust that throughout eternity He’ll wipe every tear away.
Salvation’s the healing, and fullness of life, That’s my Jehovah Rophe.

Jehovah Shammah. Our God is present, The Bible characters knew it,
Moses, The Israelites, Joseph, Jacob, but how can we understand it?
The Lord is here, yet the Lord is there, His presence is with us still,
But do we turn from his grace and hide our face, or allow our hearts to be filled?

To be at peace means more than solitude, more than quietness.
It's the state of inner grace we find when our answer to God is 'Yes'.
We are vessels that are built for Him, which He'll fill if we don't retreat,
Jehovah Shalom, the Lord is my peace, perfect, full, complete.

Incredible God

2006-09-11T18:09:00.000Z

Mighty Commander, all powerful King,
What can I do but look up and sing,
In worship to You God, my Saviour and Lord?
I love You King Jesus, You shall be adored.

Awesome Creator, life giving Word,
You fashioned the flower, gave voice to the bird,
Established the earth with beauty and care,
I'll remember that, Jesus, when I breathe in the air.

Omniscient Master, all knowing Sophia,
When things get confusing You see the big picture.
I'm obscuring Your counsel without having a clue,
When I question and doubt and blame all things on You.

Gracious Redeemer, merciful One,
Giving us life through the gift of Your Son.
How can I thank You for taking the pain,
But to worship You Jesus, the lamb who was slain.

Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End,
Your immeasurable glory I can't comprehend.
With spledour and glory You'll come back one day,
Till then, through my life, I hope You'll be portrayed.

Loving Father, so big yet so near,
You are my Shepherd, I've nothing to fear.
You're close to Your children, Your care's guaranteed.
I love You Lord Jesus, You're all that I need.

Life

2006-09-07T09:04:00.000Z

Life can sometimes be painful,
It can seem too much to bear.
The struggles are so disheartening,
Our hearts burdened with care.

The world carries on regardless,
Doesn’t stop just to hear us cry.
Everything has to keep moving.
Does anyone stop to ask why?

Why are we always so busy?
Why do we wear ourselves out?
Its no wonder the low times hit us so hard,
And we cry out to God, and we shout.

I think the world is too busy,
We’ve forgotten how to be still.
We weren’t created with hearts and lives,
That God finds hard to fill.

Perhaps we should think of our Father,
Perhaps we should make time for Him.
I know He would take all the grief we bear
And refresh us from deep down within.

So now I will take time out.
I will stop trying to be everything.
I will let the Father reign in my life,
And worship my marvellous King.

I laugh

2006-09-07T09:03:00.000Z

Jesus I kneel in wonder, thinking,
Of your precious gift – the cross.
I am stunned at the mercy & grace I find in You,
Oh loving God, I can’t thank You enough.

Its easy to become too accustomed to Your sacrifice,
So easy to lose the wonder of it all.
I often forget to be amazed at the very thought of You dying for my sins,
Oh Lord, help me to cherish it more dearly.

It started that first Christmas,
When You left Your holy dwelling place.
When You loved us enough to come to this world of suffering & sin,
And humble Yourself , just for our sake.

Then You grew up, a humble, lowly life,
As a carpenter.
You challenged the views of those in authority,
You shattered illegitimate preconceptions of the poor & meek,
You gave the world a new theology, filled with truth and love.

And though You put yourself into such a position for the benefit of the world,
The world despised You,
And threw it all back in Your face,
And You, You never said a word.
You took the suffering, and endured the pain, silently as a lamb.

The crowds of people You chose to love,
Laughed at You as You gave them the most precious gift ever known:
The gift of life, through Your death on a cross.
And they laughed.

Jesus, every time I sin,
Every time a foul word comes from my mouth,
Every time an impure thought enters my mind,
Every time my actions hurt the ones You love,
I become part of that crowd,
And I laugh.

Every time I choose to disobey You,
I mock You,
I laugh at You,
I reject You.
Every time I do anything, or think anything, or say anything, which is not founded on the love of God, and sharing that love with others,
I spit at You on Your way to the cross,
And I laugh.

Yet You look at me and say, Kirsty, I love You.
I forgive You.
Accept my gift of life through my death.
Let me love you, care for you.
Let me call you “My Child”.

Oh Jesus, how can I comprehend such a love?
I thankyou with all my heart and I’m sorry for my sin.
Help me to live by Your will.
Thank You Jesus, Praise You Jesus, Thank You Jesus.

The Bridge

2006-09-07T09:01:00.000Z

Alone I stand in terror and confusion,
At that great gap between God and man.
How do I get across to meet Him?
I wonder if I even can.

More and more concrete falls away,
Making the gap unbridgeable.
I stumble as I run back to the darkness,
Looking for something more stable.

Tearfully, quietly, I pray.
Lord let me see You, Let me know You.
I want to love You, and obey You,
Lord help me through.

Suddenly before me I see the cross,
Wedged in the gap as a bridge.
I pray in sorrow for my blindness and sin,
For I know the cross was there from the start.

At that cross I come and kneel,
And sense my Saviours hand.
He picks me up, He lifts my head,
Enables me to stand.

This is the God I adore,
The Lord who took the fall,
To bridge that gap between man and God.
So I gladly present Him my all.

Kirsty's Psalm

2006-09-06T18:26:00.000Z

Lord, You are so unsearchable.
My heart longs to understand Your being, Your will and Your ways,
But my head cannot fit You in it.
You are too mind-blowingly complex to even attempt to grasp.
I try to understand a tiny fragment of Your character, but it spins off into thousands more fragments, each of which requires a depth of understanding too great for me.

Your word is a powerful force that never fails to challenge.
It is filled with wisdom and instruction for how to live our lives,
And yet there is so much that I am yet to understand.
So many questions, seeming contradictions, how can it be understood, let alone explained.

You say You love us and give us what our hearts desire, and yet the evidence of this does not always exist.
Is this true only when our hearts desires are in line with Your will?
Well then, what is Your will?

Why Lord, do You not explain it all to me?
Why do You leave my head spinning without answering my questions?
Why do You sometimes seem so silent and distant?

And yet Lord, I am reminded of Your omniscience.
You know all the answers, You see the bigger picture.
You are bigger than any imagination could dream.
There is no need for me to get answers, You know them all.
I can trust You to do what is best and right according to the bigger picture, despite what my mind seems to think.

Lord, You are so unsearchable, you are too mind-blowingly complex to even attempt to grasp.
And yet Lord, it is really all quite simple.
Love, trust and obey the Lord, for He knows all things, sees all things and will never let me down.

Lord, to You and only You I give the praise.
You understand and see, I trust and obey.
Lord, You deserve my praise,
Lord, You deserve my mind,
Lord, You deserve my heart.